The Problem With Notions

The problem with “notions”, is that notions, can open the door to oceans of emotions.

One notion that many, many people fall for, is “falling in love”. The reality is that when this happens, there is a good chance you are “falling” for your emotions and feelings, and loosing the ability to see clearly in a relationship. That’s where the saying, “Love is Blind” comes from. It blinds you to the reality of a relationship. When you’re in love, reason goes out the window, and all of a sudden, the world becomes a rose colored garden

Read this from an article entitled, “My Marriage Wasn’t Meant to Be.” by Matt Walsh…

“We think that our task is to find this preordained partner and marry them because, after all, they’re “The One.” They were designed for us, for us and only us. ‘It’s written in the stars, prescribed in the cosmos, commanded by God or Mother Earth’. There are six or seven billion people in the world, but only one of them is the right one, we think, and we’ll stay single until we happen to stumble into them one day.

And when that day happens, when The One — our soul mate, our match, our spirit-twin — comes barreling into our lives to whisk us off our feet and take us on canoe rides and deliver impassioned romantic monologues on a beach in the rain or in a bus station or whatever, then we’ll finally be “happy.” Happy until the end of time.

We can get married and have a perfect union; a Facebook Photo Marriage, where every day is like an Instagram of you and your spouse wearing comfortable socks and sitting next to the fireplace drinking Starbucks lattes.

Yeah. About that. It’s bull, sorry. Not just silly, frivolous bull crap, but bull crap that will destroy you and eat your marriage alive from the inside. It’s a lie. A vicious, cynical lie that leads only to disappointment and confusion. The ‘Marriage of Destiny’ is a facade, but the good news is that Real Marriage is something so much more loving, joyful, and true.

We’ve got it all backwards, you see. I didn’t marry my wife because she’s The One, she’s The One because I married her. Until we were married, she was one, I was one, and we were both one of many. I didn’t marry The One, I married this one, and the two of us became one. I didn’t marry her because I was “meant to be with her,” I married her because that was my choice, and it was her choice, and the Sacrament of marriage is that choice. I married her because I love her — I chose to love her — and I chose to live the rest of my life in service to her.

We were not following a script, we chose to write our own, and it’s a story that contains more love and happiness than any romantic fable ever conjured up by Hollywood.

Indeed, marriage is a decision, not the inevitable result of unseen forces outside of our control. Marriage has to be a free choice or it is not a marriage. That’s a beautiful thing, really.”

This is a big notion that we deal with all the time. I have watched people get married in big, big weddings, and be divorced not long after. One of my famous sayings is, “People plan big weddings, but not necessarily big marriages.” Why?

Their “notions” of love and marriage, “flooded them with oceans of emotions”, they bought into the feelings and emotions and got married with the notion and it’s emotions as the foundation.

God designed marriage. If you build your foundation in Him as an individual and as a couple, you have a strong opportunity to build a lifelong union.

BH/ Source: “My Marriage Wasn’t Meant to Be” – Matt Walsh (If you would like your own copy of the full article, please contact me through this website.

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