The Urban Dictionary defines ‘Misunderstanding’ like this;
“When two people run into a bump in the road, where one believes they know what’s going on and the other is confused and could jump to conclusions. Sadly, many relationships end this way.”
All of us struggle with this life reality… there’s no way around it. It’s like anything else in life… it’s not that it happens, it’s how you deal with it. If you have a misunderstanding there are options… you can;
- Pretend it didn’t happen and ‘move on’.
- Demand you are right and the other is wrong.
- Think you have to win.
- Save face at all costs and blame it on the other.
- Stand your ground, move on and hold a resentment and let it continue to erode the relationship.
- Endeavor to understand the other, take responsibility for your part even if you don’t fully see it, and forgive the other if necessary. Understanding that if I think someone has to win and someone has to lose, everybody loses.
The only selection that works is the last one. But getting to that place can be challenging sometimes. We all find ourselves in misunderstandings… that’s not the issue. What is the issue is what will my choice be in that moment? They come out of nowhere – they catch you off guard, and our instinct often is to defend ourselves. This can be blinding as our ego is at stake. If we want to “save our lives”, we will lose and potentially hurt the other. If I am willing to “lose my life”, (my pride), then I will find my real life. This is how Truth can set you free.
Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and it will make you free.” That is not automatic, or doesn’t just happen. It happens when you ACT upon the truth, truthfully. How? Simple… take responsibility for your part, lay down your pride and ego, or need to be right, or your ‘rights’, your fear, your resentments, your unforgiveness, etc., etc.
Yes… easier said than done. But the reward is reconciliation, deepened relationships, more trust, freedom, more love, etc., etc.
What will my choice be next time it knocks on my door? What will yours be?