Many times when I first meet with someone, I ask them what they are coming for, what their goal in counseling might be. Often I am told that they just want to get better, fix their issues, know why they do the things they do, and the more famous one is, “I just want to be the best version of myself.”
The problem is basically, that they may not realize, is that they usually have tried things to accomplish this on their own and it hasn’t worked. They keep doing the same thing over and over, with enhancements, expecting different results. The reason is that they are trying to fix things from the outside in. Like behavior modification. Kind of like new years resolutions, they last a while and wane.
True transformation comes from the inside out. This is where we need to “see a need” for a power greater than ourselves, to help us by changing our hearts. In the Christian faith, this transformation starts when you surrender your heart, (the deepest part of you), to God and allow Him to start the work internally by choice and actually stopping doing things your own way, (it doesn’t work anyway). This is termed being “born again”. When that happens, you start like a baby learning from God how to live. This is the metamorphosis process of life transformation that God intends. He changes the heart, not just my outer behavior patterns. New outward patterns of behavior are generated from within, from a deeper realization of what is and isn’t.
So the best “version” of “me”, is a “me”, that has stopped doing things “my” way, seeing the futility of just trying harder doing the same thing. The “old” me is “dead” and the “new” me is alive to become all that God created me to be.
Now… if this sounds “religious” to you, I understand. But this has nothing to do with “religion”… rules and regulations, do’s and don’ts, it has to do with basically asking God to change your heart. When you do, you give Him access to heal all the brokenness of your past, give you desires in your heart that will actually lead you to victory and prosperity in your life, not merely success.
If you’re not a “believer”, thats ok. But I challenge the logic of continued repeated patterns of behavior with “improvements” that actually don’t bring lasting change. Or, “changes” or “self help” plans that may cause you to be “successful”. But success is not peace, or prosperity. God desires that the “whole” person prosper. Peace, contentment, purpose, health, vision, passion, all these are available with genuine life transformation.
If you’re not sure about this, look into it. Especially if you’re tired of cycling through patterns that lead you to the same place. Maybe this year, you can discover a “resolution”, that helps you remain “resolute” over the long haul.