Root System-Digging

If you want to get rid of the weeds, (the bad, dysfunctional behaviors, anger issues, codependencies, etc.), you will need to deal with root system issues, not just the behaviors on the surface. If you want to get rid of weeds, you have to pull them out by the roots, you can’t just mow the lawn and have the weeds go away. They come back in the morning.

Yesterday I presented the above illustration and explained it in terms of my own anger issues and their origins. In may case, I grew up in an alcoholic and codependent environment. I was emotionally sick, afraid, angry, worried, codependent since being aware enough to know the difference.

I couldn’t have friends stay over because there might me an incident, and there of course was. My father didn’t know how to deal with it all. As a result, I have a very surface relationship with my parents and sister. As I grew, anger became the hallmark of my life. So I started to drink, smoke, etc. to kill the pain as soon as I could, around 15 years old. When I was 18 and could drive I remember speeding away from the house during an incident and wanting to drive as far and fast away from it all forever. This is what initially caused me to want to run here to California to escape.

But geographical cures never work. I tried twice, after 5 years on the second attempt, my own drinking had escalated out of control, my anger was out of control, and I just wanted to get a tommy gun and blow people away. ( I never did that of course, but that’s how angry I was.) I got into horrible relationships. (I really only took hostages). It was really bad.

Tomorrow I will continue so that you can see the deep formation of root systems and subsequent destructive behaviors.

BH

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