So you can see how the weeds started forming in the soil of my heart. After the anesthesia of drinking from the age of 15 to 30, getting sober was a daunting proposition as I didn’t know how to function society or relationships. I was like a 15 year old in a 30 year old body.
I had never dealt with any of the brokenness and baggage in my heart, I had only killed the pain. But I didn’t realize I was layering over top of it all new layers of addiction and dysfunction. By the time I got married (the first time , BC), I was a sober lunatic in my relationship, and blamed her for everything. I didn’t know how to take responsibility for anything and was nothing but angry and vengeful. That lasted two years, and her leaving, by God’s grace, pushed me into the arms of Jesus and finally my brokenness could truly begin to heal.
My AA years started the process of digging up the weeds, but it was only when I surrendered my life to Jesus that I truly began to discover healing of the deep brokenness. That would take my second and current marriage to almost fail, but this time God’s redemption was available to me. This was the massive life change that would put me on a pathway to healing, and the freedom to become the person God had always intended me to be.
Digging out weeds by the roots was the part of the journey that was needed for sustained victory. Tomorrow we will talk about that leg of the journey.