Mommy Issues

Mark DeJesus is a great teacher that focuses on many of the same topics that we feature here on Daily C&E. You can go on to markdejesus.com to find more resources. Today is concerning unresolved mother issues symptoms.

Questions to Identify Mother Wounds

Here are a few questions for consideration when it comes to understanding mother wounds you may carry: 

  • Was your mother a safe source of nurture in your life, teaching you how to process pain and recover from emotional challenges? 
  • Did she love you when you needed it? 
  • Was she emotionally available to you? 
  • Did she comfort you in times of struggle? 
  • Was your mother able to take responsibility for her mistakes and how it impacted you? 
  • Were you able to have healing conversations with your mom, to talk through areas of hurt and find a place of emotional resolution? 
  • Did your mom equip you in daily routines of self-care?
  • Did your mother tell you that she loved you?
  • Did she communicate to you that she was proud of you, that you were her dearly loved child? Did she display outward signs of affection?
  • Did you feel special in your mother’s sight?
  • What is your understanding of nurture?
  • Are you able to live in nurture and affection? 
  • Where do you struggle with being able to receive nurture for yourself? 

As you recall memories of your relationship with your mother:

  • Was she harsh and very difficult to please?
  • Did she give you silent treatment for punishment?
  • Was she confusing to interact with?
  • Was she abusive, verbally, emotionally, physically, sexually?
  • Were you performance driven, to gain your mother’s approval?

Did Your Mother Equip You?

  • Furthermore, did your mother equip you with a capacity for nurture and emotional health?
  • Were you able to move into adulthood with an ability to regulate your emotions and engage relationships in an effective way?

Symptoms of Mother Wounds

Mother wounds that are unaddressed can lead to a variety of struggles and battles in life, including the following:

  • the inability to deal with stress
  • a lack of coping mechanisms 
  • a hard time recovering through times of sorrow 
  • lacking a reference for what comforting love looks like
  • a lack of sound balance in our emotions
  • inability to comfort yourself
  • addictive urges 
  • obsessiveness 
  • “needy” tendencies 
  • anxiety and mood issues 
  • relationship confusion
  • deep guilt battles 
  • Deep anger and rage issues 
  • self-hate and patterns of being hard on yourself 
  • control issues

The Need for Nurture

The power of a healthy mother relationship will impart a well-rounded reference for nurture, which is how we develop emotional and relational health. Nurture welcomes people into safe and comforting relationships, which is what a healthy mother provides. 

Nurture is also developed in how you receive love and affection growing up. Your relationship with your mother will greatly impact how you are able to give and receive affection. Through hugs, kisses and comforting words, those affectionate experiences should help us to build a healthy emotional connection with others.

The good news is that you can heal the wounds regarding your relationship with your mother through forgiveness and releasing judgements towards her.

It’s ok to recognize the mother wounds you carry, without being dishonoring or disrespectful. Today may be a great day to begin healing the mother wounds of your heart and heal your references for what nurture can be. Connect with a qualified professional to guide you in a process of healing.

Source: Markdejesus.com / Adapted

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