Improving Our Emotional Intelligence

In today’s post, we want to talk about the value of emotional intelligence, and also recognize how we can grow in self-awareness, social connection and improved relationships.

As a part of emotional intelligence, we want to emphasize:

  1. Self-awareness
  2. Self-regulation
  3. Social awareness
  4. Relationship management

For a long time, we have basically neglected what it means to live without a healthy emotional and spiritual reality. But we now believe emotional intelligence is desperately needed in our culture today, where we can effectively connect to each other from the heart. The narcissism of the “me” generation of the 70’s (Baby Boomers), is superseded only by the current “me-me-me” generation, AKA, Millennials.

The incidence of narcissistic personality disorder is nearly three times as high for people in their 20s as for the generation that’s now 65 or older, according to the National Institutes of Health; 58% more college students scored higher on a narcissism scale in 2009 than in 1982. (TIME)

As you shepherd the life of your heart, you will need to cultivate an emotional world that moves towards becoming more emotionally and spiritually, (not religiously), connected, or community oriented.

In raising our children, we often invest a lot to help them develop their intelligence or IQ. But are we nurturing our children’s ability to walk with a powerful EQ (Emotional Intelligence)? More organizations are becoming aware that a powerful EQ makes a marked difference in an overall culture. When this is nurtured, a genuine ethos can be formed and shaped. In fact, people who are considered to be the most effective in the workforce are often people that have a highly developed sense of emotional intelligence. They are self-aware, they have learned to manage their emotions effectively and they know how to navigate relationships with others well.

People who make a difference know how to develop effective relationships. But it starts by cultivating a healthy emotional and spiritual life within themselves. Those choosing this pathway, will become the most powerful and influential leaders… forerunners. They are more connected to their purpose, more apt to develop vision, and have the all important desire to raise others up to know and walk in their purpose.

Emotional intelligence involves the ability to recognize your emotions and manage them in a constructive way. You also manage and cultivate healthy relationships by being socially and relationally aware. You develop empathy and you exercise compassion in a way that makes a difference in this life. So basically it’s having a healthy relationship with yourself and the people around you.

In order to accomplish this, it requires intentionality. In our work in counseling, we work with people as more than a traditional counselor or therapist… only trying to help people overcome life difficulties. Rather, we help people know their inborn temperaments, deal with their internal emotional roots and trauma, exercise genuine forgiveness, take responsibility for all types of judgements they make; all of which prevent them from growing in emotional and spiritual awareness and intelligence.

In addition, this is fleshed out not only in the individual life and personal relationships, but in the larger community setting of workplace, business, church life, etc. We promote not a “me, me, me” reality, but a “we, we, we” reality. An environment in which our brokenness can actually become our “qualification”, not our “disqualification”. Realizing we are not victims of life, thus leading to the idea of entitlement, but givers of life, building one another up… becoming “givers”, and living less as “takers.”

Luke 12:29  “What I’m trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God’s giving.”

BH/ Sources: TIME / Mark DeJesus

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