We are all going to fall, we are going to fail, we are going to go through things. Falling and failing isn’t the issue…. it’s what you do with it. As my friend Tony Pappalardo says, “grow through it, don’t just go through it.”
If you want to grow, you need to be able to fall down, and get up. And fall down and get up… and fall down and get up. Your failures are not defeats unless you let them be. There is nothing that happens, no failure, no challenge, no mistake, no bad judgement call, nothing that can derail you unless you let it.
One of the reasons we let it, is we let the failure identify us as a failure. Then, ” as a man believes in his heart so he is.” Since you may not be doing a great job taking your thoughts captive, they can easily captivate you, and tell you you are a loser and a failure, instead of, sure you made a mistake, get up, keep moving forward, grow through the challenge and keep moving.
This was the M.O. of my life years ago. I would actually expect failure, and then sabotage myself by not doing the things necessary to successfully complete a project, so that I could claim my “volunteer victim” status, and go get drunk.
I repeated this pattern for years. I never grew through anything and since I never believed I could make it, I never chose moving forward to victory… or perseverance or anything that would move me “forward.” I literally had no idea what forward meant.
All of that changed after a couple of major events happened in my life.
- I quit drinking
- I surrendered my life to God
- I started taking my thoughts captive
When the fog lifted, I saw another way of living. I had perpetually disqualified myself and kept going in the crazy cycle of defeat. I always had gone backwards so long I didn’t even know there was a forward… for real! I was talking with a client today, (you know who you are!), that inspired this message. She was sharing with me this same pattern in her life at 23. I didn’t stop till I was 30, she’s got a shot at it at 23!
One of the main aspects we talked about was that we need to know our purpose first… you can’t get to the center from the circumference. First you “BE” then you “BECOME”…. once you can rest in your value as a human being that God created, and find your value, you can operate out of that place, and find purpose; which first is “being”. Otherwise you’re always trying to earn the value. IMPOSSIBLE. As my friend Matt D. says,
” My purpose is not burn out, it’s not stress, it’s not anger, its allowing God to work through me so I can be a vessel for him to allow me to sow into other people’s lives. That is the infinite game, the journey, not the destination. There is no metaphorical carrot dangling in front of me, because there is no such thing as reaching and striving for my potential. “
BH/. Thanks to my Anonymous friend for the inspiration. Thanks to Tony P. and Matt D. It takes a Village!