Some people wonder why we do such “deep” digging work in peoples hearts in terms of “leadership training.” My initial answer is something like; ” if we layer the best ‘leadership’ tactics, training and skill-sets over top of messed up, hurt, broken people, what do you think you will get?
You may even get people who can ‘do’ things in terms of leadership and management, but true leadership starts with a healthy individual, and is translated out of their lives through their integrity, character, knowing who they are, living out of their authentic selves. Not only that but their lives are dedicated to helping others, not merely themselves. But many times we have people set up for ultimate failure because the condition of their life cannot sustain the rigors of leaderships demands.
It is very common to live out of your false self, gain skill-sets that are impressive, and get ahead, but if you are a broken person underneath it all, it will surface one way or the other. It comes out in anger, addictions, pride, insecurities, dishonesty, inauthenticity and more. Worse, in broken relationships. Interpersonal relationships and business relationships suffer when we are not healed and still, for example, live out of our broken childhood scripts, creating the ‘fantasy’ expectations listed above.
The things listed above are really only a small sampling. When our childhood is broken, when we have experienced trauma, abandonment, a lack of affirmation and supportive love, a lack of healthy identity, a spiritual foundation, we will act that brokeness out in our workplace environments and relationships. Many times we don’t see it bacause we have been in survival mode for years. Then our temperament weaknesses will be employed as we are surviving, coping and hoping.
When we enter a mentoring environment, these aspects will begin to rise to the surface. When they do, don’t hide them or cover them up by performing, striving, or even succeeding. They can all be a mask hiding the real, broken you. Allowing these things to be exposed, dealt with and healed will allow you to become the real, genuine you. The person God intended you to be.
In the Bible it says ” a persons gifts will make room for them.” That means if you seek the right things first, allow the healing to take place so that you can be the emotionally and healthy spiritual being God designed, then the things you DO will be able to surface, but you won’t depend on them to provide identity. You will know who you are, your intrinsic value, and be able to distinguish what you do from who you are, and be comfortable and at peace with who you are.
Then you can become a candidate to be a genuine leader. You can discover vision, your “why”, and not depend on accomplishments or talents to define you.