In the work that we do, alot of the time people come to us to “fix” something. Like a car mechanic fixes your brakes. They usually quickly find that it’s not just about fixing whats wrong with us and our relationships, it’s much more about transforming our live s from the inside out.
All the way from our broken past, childhood traumas and scripts, our failures, rejections and mistakes, through our relationships and leadership realities, it’s all about being transformed from the inside out.
Listen to this commentary from Jessamine Gibb.
“While we all have to take responsibility for ourselves as much as we are capable when we reach adulthood, rarely have I met a person who ended up with seriously dysfunctional behavior who did not have a series of traumatic or difficult events in their early life—and I’ve worked with thousands of people throughout my career.
Often, these people felt marked for life by their current or recent situation, set apart from “respectable society” with little chance for redemption. They felt unworthy to move in different social circles or in different environments, which was a huge impediment to them progressing in life. It takes a lot of strength and courage to do what can be required, say in the instance of drug addiction, where you might have to sever almost every relationship currently in your life. In that circumstance in particular, people’s lives and relationships start to revolve wholly around drugs and most friendships cannot be salvaged unless other friends are looking to recover also.
What is often missing from their understanding of how life works is that they always have choice.
You must take the risks involved in making positive change, and in doing so you will find out who is willing to take a risk on you. Seek whatever help might be best for your circumstance, whether it’s general life coaching, recovery coaching, therapy, a psychologist or psychiatrist, a support group or a customized combination of these.
Become self-aware and responsible. Undertake the difficult work with relevant support to really face up to yourself and grow. If you have medical circumstances that interfere with your progress, discuss these with your doctor and commit to a management plan, which might be medication, exercise, improved sleep routines, relaxation exercises, diet or a combination of different strategies. If there is a problem face up to it, it won’t go away just because you ignore it. Identify your motivating factors to change your life, what you really value. Identify your triggers for negative behaviors, and get ahead of yourself by planning what you will do to avoid or deal effectively with triggering situations.
Once you’ve committed to the unavoidable heavy work, you can start to find the silver linings in your situation.
For me and many clients I’ve worked with, their experiences and the consequential deeper understanding and empathy they’ve developed have pushed them towards wanting to be in a helping role for people facing similar battles. Other people, through discussing their struggles with a coach or therapist, discovered their inner strength was in reality much more than they had realized, and that propelled them on to other dreams for the future they had previously thought unrealistic. They came to know that God indeed loved them and had purpose already established for them.
Changing your life is HARD, whether you find yourself at the bottom of a deep ravine or one of life’s potholes, but while you’re still living and breathing it is always possible.
All it takes is dedication, the right support and time. And if you have been in that deep ravine don’t worry, you’re not marked for life. If a reasonable person sees a sustained effort to live life differently over a long enough period of time, they will understand. “
This weekend you have a chance to hear the testimonies of people just like you that took the challenge, entered into a process of change and continue to engage in new pathways to stay on the journey to perpetual transformation. Don’t look for a quick fix… band aids alway fall off. Do the deep work to get the life transforming work and become the person and leader in life that you are designed to be.
Are you willing to take that risk?
Jessamine Gibb/ BH /Adapted