“Raphael and I met in college playing soccer shortly after we graduated, started dating and like all couples we had our highs and lows in the relationship. We got married after six years of courtship and thinking “OK, we’re already a little more mature” (just because we had stopped arguing daily – LOL). In January 2019 we got married and it went great (compared to the “great” standard that society indicates), we knew we were a long way from being perfect but we were content with being “fine”. We argued over meaningless things, were extremely selfish of each other, and we had so much resentment inside that any simple situation made us explode. It was very frustrating to live the way we were; we were looking for contentment in all the wrong places.
Despite being Christians, we still did not understand that Christ should be our refuge and the only one who could fill our hearts… therefore, I was looking for Raphael to fill all my gaps and vice versa. We were so focused on us as victims that any opinion or complaint toward us, we received it as a personal attack. We sought to be perfect before our leaders, thinking that this would qualify us for their counsel, love, and their time; this led us to constantly have to change our personality, grabbing characteristics of different people that we admired, and feeling that we needed a weekly upgrade because otherwise we believed we would not be accepted.
It is incredible the martyrdom that we put ourselves through to live day by day because we didn’t understand the truth of God well. We were deceived by saying that if we lived in our strengths, no one would notice our weaknesses. It wasn’t until we met Bill that we understood where all these absurd beliefs came from, and the real importance of going back to the basic principles and truths of the Scriptures. I remember when we were told about EI Solutions, we convinced ourselves to use it because “there is nothing wrong with our relationship, but it can always be better”, hahaha what a joke! We didn’t realize it, but we were taking our marriage slowly to failure by not knowing how to communicate, how to forgive, how to live our values but above all, because we did not know our true purpose.
Since we started using EI Solutions we saw the change in our lives – from our professional life to our personal/spiritual life. I would say that from our second (individual) meeting with Bill we began to raise awareness of all the emotional burden we carried needlessly; working the Letter of Forgiveness with Bill’s guidance helped us genuinely forgive and free our hearts from all the bitterness they had accumulated over the years. It was hard to recognize all those feelings, but much harder was learning to forgive.
Genuinely I think it’s one of the hardest decisions we’ve made because to do so, we had to fight our EGO (terrible opponent). But when we entered EI Solutions we made the decision to do whatever we had to do to grow in our personal lives, so we did. I compare the process of working with Bill with an example I heard from my mentors a while ago: “the value of the elastic band is in its ability to stretch”; therefore, if my goal is to be the best wife and the best Christian I can be well, I know that will take time but above all it will take a great effort on my part, it will not be easy, it will hurt a lot at times, but in the end I will be one of the “most valuable elastic bands in the market”.
In just six sessions we each took with Bill individually, we both recognize that having used EI Solutions has been a catalyst in our relationship and to the growth of our business. To each of the sessions we have committed to coming with as much transparency as possible, leaving everything on the table with Bill: tears, boogers, laughter, discomfort, joys, frustrations, in conclusion, everything. Discovering our (real) weaknesses and strengths never occurred to us to be so liberating. We know we still have a world to grow but nothing excites us more than continuing to grow together as a team with Bill’s guidance and knowing we are now walking in God’s sovereign plan.
We love you, Bill. We are eternally grateful for all you have helped us, you are definitely like an angel that God sent to our family.”
Once again, commitment to the process brings the results that you are looking for. You can do as Amanda shared in yesterday’s post, do all the meetings and homework for all the wrong reasons, and get nowhere; or commit to the process and find victory that changes your life. Thank you both and I am so proud of you two!
BH/ Laura & Raphael