Temperament Basics – The Melancholy

As we go through the temperaments, remember that each temperament is broken down into 3 areas: Inclusion-Social, Control, Affection-Close relationships. In addition, there are expressed and wanted scores in each area, and then there are temperament blendings; all possibilities of combinations can dramatically affect the overall picture of your temperament.

So it’s important to remember, that as you read through these temperament descriptions, that you do not think that if one description seems to fit you best, that “I am a Choleric… (any other temperament…). This is the shortfall of certain books that characterise temperament this way, which can be highly inaccurate. That’s why it’s important to have your profile run by the best method; we utilize the APS profile as it is 99.5 % accurate. And… to have it administered to you professionally.

Those who have done this will attest to this reality. So as we present the temperament basics series keep this in mind, and if you haven’t already, consider having your profile done; we are ready to serve at EIS and all our counselors are APS certified. But for today let’s continue our series with the Melancholy.

MELANCHOLY (Introvert)
Melancholies need to learn to communicate their feelings; emotionally they are very protective and guarded. The way that a Melancholy demonstrates or says that they love someone is by being dependable and responsible not in physical or verbal terms necessarily. Because of their intellectual and analytical energies they can see the end results of a project before moving forward. They think all the time. It’s very important for Melancholies to learn disciple of their thought lives.

Melancholies have a very sensitive emotional nature; feelings dominate their being. Sometimes moods will lift them to extreme highs; at other times they will be gloomy and depressed. A secondary temperament can often help balance this out. A secondary temperament such as Phlegmatic balances these tendencies. Unsocial by nature, meeting new people is difficult and social activities are draining.

Melancholies when rising to their strengths, and once these strengths are brought under God’s graces, the Melancholy is capable of great and wonderful things. When Melancholies sink to their weaknesses they become destructive to themselves and those close to them.

There is great comfort and reward when we submit ourselves to God (regardless of what temperament we possess) and learn to live out our strengths in the temperament that He has given us. Read through the Melancholy’s strengths and carefully consider if the Melancholy would not be a blessing and asset to their family, and to the community where they live. God help each of us to live in the strengths of our temperament, our in-born “nature”, that God has given us.

The pure Melancholy for example is an introvert and a loner. Melancholies are more task oriented as opposed to relationship-oriented. Melancholies tend to be perfectionists and set unreasonable standards and goals for themselves and the people around them.

Melancholies are very loyal people: to their family and friends. If they make a promise the Melancholy will keep it. Melancholies are very creative people, but are prone to depressed moods. They are very private people, as well as very serious.

They are self-motivated, and do not respond to the promise of reward nor the threat of punishment. Often they are not satisfied with only one chance at something because they feel they could always do better, once they are more familiar with the task at hand. They tend to take a more realistic viewpoint. A Melancholy knows their limitations and they rarely take on more than they can do.

The Melancholy temperament is self-conscious; their extreme sensitive nature causes them to be easily offended or insulted. They can be suspicious and jump to unfounded conclusions. They have the tendency to self-examine themselves to the degree that they become inactive, and unenergetic; over thinking everything can cause a variety of problems.

Melancholies may be calm and quiet on the surface but they are often angry and resentful. They tend to keep those feelings to themselves until they build up and eventually the anger explodes in a fit of rage.

SUMMARY
Introvert, loner, great thinker, genius-prone, very artistic and creative, often found alone in thought, perfectionistic, slow-paced, great understanding of tasks and systems, a critical and challenging mind, and seeing both the pitfalls and the end results of a project undertaken.

Extremely moody, suffer from dark, depressive moods, reject people, set standards neither they nor anyone else can meet, develop habits that are very hard to break, have possible suicidal tendencies, low self-esteem and are pessimistic.

Good at decisions and responsibilities in known areas, very good leadership abilities. They adhere to the rules and they need very little control over the lives and behavior of others.

Rigid, inflexible, sensitive to failure, fear of the unknown, fear of failure, apt to be a rebel and procrastinate if unsure of things.

Very faithful, loyal friend and self-sacrificing. Their feelings run deep and tender (even though they lack the ability to express these feelings). They easily empathize with others and have the ability to make very deep commitments.

They dissect the past with theoretical “what ifs,” i.e., “what if” he had given me flowers, I would feel loved; “what if” I were prettier, they would love me more. Also, they are critical of others, angry, cruel, vengeful, emotional, rarely tell people how they feel, have a low self-image and are sensitive to rejection from deep relationships. The loss of a deep relationship (even by death) is devastating to them. Melancholies tend to “have sex” with their spouse; they do not “make love” to them.

STRENGTHS
Emotions
Deep and thoughtful
Analytical
Serious and purposeful
Genius prone
Talented and creative
Artistic and musical
Philosophical and poetic
Appreciative of beauty
Sensitive to others
Self-sacrificing
Conscientious
Idealistic

Work
Schedule oriented
Perfectionist, high standards
Detail conscious
Persistent and thorough
Orderly and organized
Neat and tidy
Economical
Sees the problems
Finds creative solutions
Needs to finish what she starts
Likes, charts, graphs, figures, lists

Friends
Makes friends cautiously
Content to stay in background
Avoids causing attention
Faithful and devoted
Will listen to complaints
Can solve others’ problems
Deep concern for other people
Moved to tears with compassion
Seeks ideal mate

WEAKNESSES
Emotions
Remembers the negatives
Moody and depressed
Enjoys being hurt
Off in another world
Low self-image
Has selective hearing
Self-centered
Too introspective
Guilt feelings
Persecution complex
Tends to hypochondria

Work
Not people oriented
Depressed over imperfections
Chooses difficult work
Hesitant to start projects
Spends too much time planning
Prefers analysis in work
Self-deprecating
Hard to please
Standards often too high
Deep need for approval

Friends
Lives through others
Insecure socially
Withdrawn and remote
Critical of others
Holds back affection
Dislikes those in opposition
Suspicious of people
Antagonistic and vengeful
Unforgiving
Full of contradictions
Skeptical of compliments

Remember, you may not be purely Melancholy. These descriptions are here to peak your interest in understanding your temperament more accurately.

BH

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