We have all attempted multiple times to figure out something. A new gadget, a relationship, emotional pain, among many other things.
Before I allowed myself to acknowledge my anger I would ration it by saying, I’m frustrated with trying to get this done.
I would walk away and come back to it only to face the same frustration.
At the time it would have helped me to acknowledge that I’m angry that I’m not able to get this done. Then ask for help and avoid the tension within myself that I thought was wrong to reside in my body.
I have witnessed people dancing around their anger by questioning why they keep talking about an incident without the ability to identify that they are just angry at the situation.
Last week we talked about how Supine and Melancholy temperaments manage their anger by suppressing it.
The face they wear is an annoyance or fretting look.
Today let’s look at Choleric temperament and their challenges with anger.
A choleric needs to be in control of anything and everything they are a part of. They get bored if they are not achieving or pursuing a goal or goals and if they are not doing everything on a project, they don’t believe the job will be done to perfection. If it means burning out, so be it, as long as the job is done. In other words, the task is way better than a relationship!
In fact, relationships are more exhausting than tasks to a choleric. Even God has to align with the choleric’s agenda according to them. Imagine what the wife or husband will have to go through! Now, these are all generalized needs of a choleric and they are not cast in stone.
Note that not every person who is choleric is always doing this because many have seen their bad behaviors and have and are working through them to make healthy choices.
When a choleric loses control, they will immediately react and the face may look like blowing off steam in which they may lash out at those around them and blame it on being the honest truth.
Cholerics are self- motivated and independent, sometimes they are not aware that everyone is not self-motivated and independent and so they think that they can make them one.
In their effort to accomplish that, they tend to yell at people and they tend to be very brash and sometimes cruel in their delivery of “motivation.”
They want to maintain control.
Sometimes it is by being openly aggressive. Since the focus is to strongly emphasize their personal needs and less sensitivity to the needs of others. They want to be in the position of power and the other party is not complying.
Many people are not even aware that they are angry for not being in control, they are perplexed as to why the other person is fighting them.
This is why you need to know your temperament needs because the need for control, perfectionism, and accomplishing goals can make a choleric feel safe and in control yet at the same time cause abusive and cruel behavior to others.
If you have been detached from your anger, and you are choleric, there is a chance that relationships are a challenge to you or that you have told yourself that you do not need anyone since people are tools for cholerics to get what they want. They can seem “weak” to the choleric.
Romans 12:18 NASB
If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.
We all get angry and the quicker we can detect it, the faster we will be able to enjoy healthy relationships.