Toxic Soul Ties – Part 1 With Mark De Jesus

Healing from toxic relationships often involves working through the toxic soul ties that we have formed in our journey. I want to talk about the importance of your relationship ties and your history of attachments, connections and bonds. You were made for relationship and designed to be knit together with other relationships in powerful, healthy ways. Yet at the same time, your enemy seeks to orchestrate relationship ties with people that reinforce bondage and dysfunction in your life.

Many discover in their healing and freedom journey that there are significant ties, often referred to as soul ties, that need to be broken.

While this is true, I want to first bring out the power of what healthy ties can bring about in your life. The subject of soul ties can be a powerful invitation for you and I to develop healthy bonds with the right people. You don’t have to remain stuck in the toxic attachments, bonds and ties that seek to hold you in bondage. There is freedom available and healthy bonds we can develop.

The subject of soul ties, relationship ties, bonds or attachments is an important one to address in the healing and freedom journey. In addition, this issue impacts our lives way further than we often realize. In healing from toxic relationships, we often have to address the unhealthy ties we developed along the way. 

Toxic Soul Ties

Toxic is a good word to describe these unhealthy relationship ties, because it includes the meaning of the biblical words bitter and defilement, which are found in Hebrews 12.

looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.” Hebrews 12:15 (NKJV)

Toxic people do exactly that: they allow bitter roots to spring up and the spread the infectious trouble that springs out of it.  In the Scriptures, bitterness literally means poison, something that should not be inhaled or ingested, because if you do, it will have a negative effect.

Bitterness also means acridity, which means it leaves a strong and unpleasant odor. Bitter roots produce bitter fruit, but they are also contagious, spreading like a virus to other people. We become “defiled” by bitterness when our hearts become contaminated with another person’s bitter perspectives.

This toxic or bitter effect is often compounded because of the unhealthy soul ties that get formed with toxic people.

What is a Soul Tie?

Over the years, the term “soul tie” has become the popular term that people use to address the bonds, attachments and ways we become relationally knit to another person. It is usually brought out in a negative and destructive connotation. But a soul tie or relationship tie is actually designed by God to be a good thing.

For simple understanding, a soul tie is a bond or attachment that exists in a relationship. The truth is that a soul tie can be a healthy tie or an unhealthy tie. 

Relationship Audit

Take a moment and look back at your history of close-knit relationships. Allow your heart to do an honest assessment of where you’ve had strong relationship ties that were helpful, healthy and fruitful. But consider as well those relationship ties that were harmful, toxic and left you to cope with the collateral damage. 

Many of the toxic relationship experiences we’ve had are not relationships we just turn on and then easily turned off. They often involve deep investments, where it can become challenging to unwind from the negative experiences. 

Those who invest their hearts in spiritual and emotional healing often come to the point of realizing they need to “detox” certain unhealthy relationships. Many begin to realize that healing from toxic relationships is not so easy. There becomes these invisible ties that pull on them. They can also observe that unhealthy soul ties can have a continuing impact on their life, even after the relationship is technically over. 

Some find themselves limited in their current circumstances because a toxic tie has an unhealthy hold on them. 

Many people cannot make solid decisions because they are tied to that person with unhealthy bonds that pull on them. They become confused as to what true love is. Sex can dramatically compound the issues. They make decisions based on guilt. Addictions come into play. Meanwhile, they feel they are being held back from the fruitful relationships that can be experienced. 

You Were Made for Relationships

We as human beings are designed to be relational. The relationships we form are meant to create healthy bonds and ties that fulfill our hearts, connect us to love experiences and unite us under similar passions. 

There are healthy bonds that we are designed to form in life. With it come many blessings and helpful references for living a healthy life. 

On the contrary, there are toxic ties that can form out of dysfunctional and unhealthy relationships that keep us in the orbit of emotional bondage, even when it seems we are no longer around that person anymore. 

Ungodly soul ties can keep us cycling in certain patterns, while holding us from moving forward in life. Ungodly soul ties can make us codependent, anong scores of other dysfunction, keeping us from knowing what is healthy and even breaking away from relationships that are toxic. 

Why is this Subject Important?

Many times, we can work so hard to experience healing and freedom in our lives, but we can hit a roadblock. Our ability to move forward in health is prevented by ties that seem to keep their tentacles wrapped around our lives. 

Part of freedom from toxic relationships involves recognizing ungodly soul ties you may have, where certain areas of emotional bondage are actually tied to a past relationship that was unhealthy. The relationship may be over or sort of over, but the linger effects are still in play. 

God designed us to be relational. We are not meant to do life alone. Throughout the journey, He has designed that our divine purpose become empowered by relationships we become tied to.

You were meant to become better as a result of those you do life with, those that influence you and those that you become bonded to. 

We have a destiny that through our healthy bonds, we can manifest the compounding power of God’s nature in our midst. In fact, we are all called to be bound together in community as all of us are created by Him with His purposes in mind.

Part 2 Tomorrow

BH/ Adapted – Mark DeJesus

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