One of the natural tendencies in life is to come up with our own solutions to our own problems. Even if we have tried to solve our problems previously with bad results, we somehow think we can do it on our own.
In the Bible it tells us not to “lean on our own understanding.”We are told this because it’s our propensity due to pride and ego. The other aspect that comes into play, is that many of our choices and decisions in life, particularly those having to do with relationships, are driven by our damaged, broken hearts. So when things go awry, we usually don’t gravitate towards “maybe I am doing this repeatedly because of the unforgiveness, bitterness and judgement lodged in my heart.”
So we may “solve our issues” by getting through difficult situations, or not. But are we just getting “past” another situation, sweeping things under the rug? Or are we allowing the situation to point to a deeper area of brokenness in our hearts that needs healing?
Many times we are operating, for example, under a “generational curse.” What’s that?!
That is when we grow up in a dysfunctional household of some kind, where one or both parents are functioning in an unhealthy pattern, like ” may dad always was verbally abusive to my mom.” A daughter might make a “vow”, or judgement, that “I will never marry anyone like my dad.” And then go on to find someone in their own lives that acts just like their dad. This is the nature of judgement… it will always come back on you just the same way you meter it out.
So if I do not deal with that judgement, way back there on the inside, not just the symptoms and ramifications of that relationship… I will only be dealing with symptoms. I have to get to the “root issues” in my heart, being the judgement against my dad. I have to repent, or release that judgement in my heart, forgive, and even seek forgiveness from God… why? Because Jesus was the one who said not to judge. If we do not, our hearts are “wrong”, and remain broken. If we do, we are free to forgive and be released from the root of judgement and bitterness in my heart. If I do not, I will keep attracting the very thing I don’t want in my life. A common term for this is Kharma.
So, if I try to “solve” this problem on my own, I will not be able to. I will only be able to “cope” with the symptoms, and do the same thing over and over expecting a different result.
There is so often tremendous arrogance in a mind that believes it has the answer. The humble mind knows there are innumerable, untraceable, incalculable, mysterious influences underlying the complex issues we face at home, work, and in society at large. There is a limitless web of uncontrollable factors that cause two or more seemingly separate parts to collide into chaos and suffering, factors that no mind can possibly understand and that shape the human story. All of this not even addressing the deepest part of a human being… the heart.
We may know what is happening, but in no way can we know the full extent of why a predicament occurs and are therefore grossly limited in knowing how to solve it. (We’re not speaking about fixing tires.) We point to an answer believing it to be it; and while there can be temporary relief in implementing our “solution”, how many times does it only lead to more complex, head-scratching issues; to, as Winston Churchill said, “one dam thing after another”? It’s because we haven’t addressed and healed the underlying issues of the heart. So our “solutions” wind up being “band-aids” on issues that need “heart surgery”.
The narrow “how-to”, “solve-it” mind easily succumbs to the delusion of it. Because of its quick-fix need to know, it very often believes that simply removing, altering or adding something will be a panacea. That’s all that binary logic can conjure, the logic mankind so heavily depends on. It researches, calculates, consults, innovates and advises; it creates the latest gadget and technology, rushes to the newest legislation, medication, weapon, treaty or policy, and there you have it, that should finally take care of this long-standing issue. We’ve got it figured out now!
This is all pride. And pride comes before destruction. It leads to doing the same thing, (in different packages), over and over, expecting different results. AKA… Insanity. The results, a remaining broken heart, that continues to invite more dysfunction and pain.