We all want to be accepted, to some degree, depending on temperament and other factors. But we are designed for community and we are not islands unto ourselves.
Depending on our insecurities, we may spend alot of time trying to be acceptable to others, and even God. Not understanding that we are acceptable to God without having to do one thing. When it comes to people, we may well compare ourselves to others, for example, and disqualify ourselves, and exclude ourselves.
Some may spend their efforts to be accepted by trying to appear more acceptable by performing, impressing, or any number of other efforts to be acceptable to some form of standard. Ultimately we may form a false self, that Brennan Manning says,” creates someone that everyone will admire, but no one will know.”
In my quest to be what I believe is “acceptable”, I may make myself, in-accessable. If I believe that I am unacceptable, I will likely hide the real me and not let people know me. It’s a much better choice to be accessible to others and know and be known. In order to do this, we need to understand our value intrinsically, and accept ourselves. If we don’t accept ourselves we will likely project that outwardly on to others, and insulate ourselves, this becoming inaccessible to others.
The main thing that people struggle with at baseline, if knowing how to love and be loved in genuine ways. Accepted. Practice this with yourself, and you will find that you can rid yourself of the subsequent approval addiction that can come with the package.