Victimism, Narcissism, Entitlement

nar·cis·sist/ˈnärsəsəst/noun

A person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.”narcissists think the world revolves around them”

Victim mentality: is an acquired personality trait in which a person tends to recognize or consider themselves as a victim of the negative actions of others, and to behave as if this were the case in the face of contrary evidence of such circumstances. Victim mentality depends on clear thought processes and attribution. In some cases, those with a victim mentality have, in fact, been the victim of wrongdoing by others or have otherwise suffered misfortune through no fault of their own. However, such misfortune does not necessarily imply that one will respond by developing a pervasive and universal victim mentality where one frequently or constantly perceives oneself to be a victim.

The term is also used in reference to the tendency for blaming one’s misfortunes on somebody else’s misdeeds, which is also referred to as victimism.

Victim mentality is primarily developed, for example, from family members and situations during childhood. Similarly, criminals often engage in victim thinking, believing themselves to be moral and engaging in crime only as a reaction to an immoral world and furthermore feeling that authorities are unfairly singling them out for persecution. This posturing easily leads to the dysfunctional child of the two, (victimism, and narcissism), entitlement.

Clearly we see this all in society, in particular, entitlement… but as I said, entitlement is the child of victimism and narcissism.

Have you even truly encountered a narcissist? I have worked closely with them. Not in therapy as much as working together. However, many cholerics morph into narcissists when their controlling, “all knowing” behavior is left unchecked, and unchallenged. They become dictators in their marriages and business, and because they can get “results”, they are allowed to continue their tyrannical behavior.

They are “entitled” because they “know”… they are victimized by anyone who challenges their reality, why? Because they operate out of a narcissistic mindset, and are desensitized to the opinions, needs, feelings, etc. of others around them. ( Not all cholerics go down this road, but there is a propensity.)

Supines can be narcissistic in another way. They inherently feel victimized, not recognized or included, and are usually nice and caring, and don’t know why they are treated poorly. Their low self esteem plagues them and reinforces the lies that others get recognized and they don’t. Why? Because they feel they are not good enough. Their love affair with their low self esteem can steer them straight into narcissism and entitlement.

So just in case you feel victimized by my picking on these temperaments, I will tell you they are not exclusive, just good examples; all temperaments are equal opportunity for all human dysfunctions. If you are reading this, and you are trapped in any one of these three elements, you probably will balk at this message, simply because you will be blind to it while trapped in it’s grip.

So what’s the way out?

Recognize that you may have blind spots, and that you may be deceived by pride. “Pride goes before destruction.” It also blinds us. And, the nature of deception, is you don’t know that you are deceived. So you keep doing whatever you believe is right. “As a man believes in his heart so he is”.

One of the best ways to find out if you’re a narcissist is something that you are not likely to do… ask the people around you to be honest with you, and tell you if you are demonstrate narcissistic behavior, victimism, or entitled behaviors. I know for me, at the height of my Melancholy compulsive operating full on in the weakness end of the spectrum, I was a victim of the world, felt entitled because of it, and narcissistic as a result.

There is help, but first you will have to recognize that you need help, and that’s the biggest challenge you will face. When you do, there is help.

BH

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