Abusive Relationships

For years I have worked with people in aggressive, passive aggressive, narcissistic and ultimately abusive relationships. Interestingly, I see more and more on Instagram, various therapists and individuals posting comments and quotes reflecting this reality.

But when you work closely in a counseling relationship with people, you discover the depths of deep darkness that people allow themselves to sink into, and wonder how they ever allowed themselves to get to such a place. By then, hopeless and despair have long set in and depression and other mental and spiritual maladies have set in.

Lacey Sturm sings of such abusive relationships and the twisted abusive types of tactics that abusers will use in relationships. Here is only one example from her album “Life Screams”.

“I’m Not Laughing”

She’s walking on eggshells
Biting off her tongue
She’s still searching for herself
But it ain’t pleasing no one

And none of you know her anyway
You don’t even want to
They aren’t your tears, it ain’t your pain
So what’s it to you?

I’m not laughing
Don’t get confused
I’m not pointing my finger
Don’t want to be like you
No no no

She doesn’t know she’s beautiful
‘Cause all she ever hears
Is your insecure loud mouth
Feeding off her fears

And all you know is that everyone is looking at her now
You shoot her with your mouth, your gun
But I get hit too somehow

I’m not laughing
Don’t get confused
I’m not pointing my finger
Don’t want to be like you
No no
I’m not laughing
Don’t get confused
I’m not pointing my finger
Don’t want to be like you
No I’m not laughing
Don’t get confused
I’m not pointing my fingers
I’ll never be like you

We will be doing a mini series on this subject over the next few days. If you are in an abusive relationship in any form, you will need to work toward resolution one way or the other. “Things” don’t just “get better” all by themselves. It takes hard committed work, exposure, confronting issues head on… but I advise getting help. Reach out to a trusted friend, mentor or counselor and start a process that will open the door for positive, forward movement.

BH

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