Abusive Relationships III

These of course are general and broad descriptions of forms of abuse. It gets deeper when you go deeper into the “techniques” and aspects of common forms of abuse.

  • Narcissism
  • Victimisation
  • Gaslighting
  • Emotional Hostage Taking
  • Shaming
  • Nullification
  • Demoralization
  • De-humanization
  • Guilting
  • Codependence
  • Anger/Rage

The interesting thing about many of these tactics, is that they all have an element of Narcissism. It’s all about the abuser. The insecure narcissist MUST remain on top of their victim in every way, therefore the abuse must be continual, if even subliminal.

It’s usually both subliminal and overt, depending on the moment. Whatever is called for, but it can be relentless, or intermittent. Of course the person’s temperament and brokenness will have a big part in the degree and severity of damage infliction… but it doesn’t matter, as long as you stay “under”. When the abused retaliates, or threatens leaving, the abuser may shift gears and be “so sorry”, seek forgiveness, promise to get better… anything to hold the situation. Then the cycle many times repeats.

Of course there are many variables in these scenarios, but you will likely find some of these aspects in your particular abusive situation. It’s not just difficult, but abusive. When it’s abusive you have to deal with it as abuse.

I have seen situations where I couldn’t believe that the abused one actually stayed in the situation when there is a way out. But that’s the flip side of the coin. The abused may be a “volunteer victim” for any number of reasons, and, for example, believe they actually deserve this treatment, and don’t deserve any better.

If you are in an abusive situation, reach out for support. There is help available.


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