Emotions vs. Needs – With Bill Hoffman

If you can understand this reality, and start disciplining yourself through taking your thoughts, feelings and emotions captive, you can literally change everything in your life that is “off”, dysfunctional and destructive. This coupled with dealing with your unresolved “baggage”, can set you on a trajectory of transformation that will continue on throughout your lifetime.

This does not indicate that there will not be problems that you will face.  That’s never been the problem.  The problem is how you face the issues of life… they will always be there. If you look at the illustration above, you can clearly see the distinction between common emotions that we experience regularly, and the actual needs that the emotions represent.

The problem is, that instead of seeing the emotion as a sign that a need is being presented, and responding properly to it, we only react to the emotion. This creates continuous cycles that continue to grow in intensity slowly but surely.

If you do not exercise self-control over these things, you can go on this way for a lifetime. This is not how we are designed to operate.  We are “broken”.  But many times we deny our brokenness due to our ego.  We want to look, and be, F.I.N.E. Fouled up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional. As long as our ego is calling the shots, we are doomed to this type of lifestyle.

This lifestyle is basically a lifestyle of in-authenticity and pretense. You concentrate on what you think you “should be”, instead of getting to know the genuine you. We generally assume our genuine self is deficient, not enough, and compared to others in particular, we perceive we fall short.

In order to begin to turn this ship around, you must believe that the way you are handling life may be broken, but that is not who you are. Until you do, you will likely stay on the reactionary hamster wheel described above, while your genuine needs are never met. So you are never really satisfied. The cycle continues as we look outside ourselves to fill the hole inside our hearts.

At EIS we propose that healing of this condition starts within, not from outside. You start at the center and work outwards, not the opposite.  This means that the problems you are experiencing are not because external forces are pressing in on you… it’s your reaction to these external forces. If you learn to respond properly you can begin to experience life transformation.

Take a step today in the direction of a new and productive Process that will change everything.  Stop the cycling, discover your true self, why, and purpose.


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