Narcissist Twists – With Bill Hoffman

A Narcissist Twist.  I have talked in previous posts about how temperament will affect how the narcissism is played out.  For example, if the person is a Choleric they may be a “classic” narcissist”, meaning the controlling, arrogant, knows everything, more “malignant” type of narcissist. The “ego-maniac with the inferiority complex.”

Then there might be a “twist” with the Sanguine narcissist… the flashy, “look… it’s all about me!” type narcissist. The attention seeker, the star of the show, the need to be recognized… angry when not… and hot anger at that!

Then there is the Supine/Melancholy introverted  narcissist who is insecure within themselves, but want to be noticed… recognized, without letting on that there is a need that they have for this.  This will create a “victim status” propensity.  In addition, they may feel “entitled”.  Victim posturing will always bring a degree of entitlement built in as being a victim implies that I have been done wrong somehow, so somebody owes me something. Supine’s harbor anger, and it turns to bitterness.  If it goes on long enough, the sweet spirited, gentle and tender hearted Supine can become an angry, entitled, mess. If some Melancholy is in there, the revenge element might show up too.

Then… the Choleric/Supine blend of narcissist.  Controlling, angry, charming, witty, shrewd, and even sociopathic.

“A sociopath is a term used to describe someone who has antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). People with ASPD can’t understand others’ feelings. They’ll often break rules or make impulsive decisions without feeling guilty for the harm they cause.

People with ASPD may also use “mind games” to control friends, family members, co-workers, and even strangers. They may also be perceived as charismatic or charming.”

This is a classic malignant narcissistic twist:

“Malignant narcissism is not a formal diagnosis, but instead a common term used to describe a person with traits and symptoms of both narcissistic personality disorder, (NPD), and antisocial personality disorder. Also called pathological narcissists, malignant narcissists tend to have more impairments, worse relationships, and worse responses to treatment than people with classic NPD.

People with narcissistic personality disorder tend to exhibit grandiose attitudes, feel superior to others, need excessive praise and validation, and respond very poorly to even the slightest criticism. People with antisocial personality disorder lack empathy, disregard the feelings and needs of others, and use and exploit others to meet their needs. Malignant narcissists tend to display a mix of these traits and behaviors, which keep them from forming healthy relationships.”

These types of narcissists will be entitled, insecure, cowards, users, abusers, perpetual victims… because as long as I am a victim, I can justify any bad behavior, I believe, simply because I am a victim.

Is there hope for such people?  Of course!  But the blindness of the narcissist is deep.  They, like anyone else, need to do the archeological work to get at their root systems and past trauma, release others and themselves from unforgiveness and judgements, etc. If they do not, like anyone else, they may find temporary relief from time to time, but the narcissistic appetite can be voracious. Their ego is fed by diminishing others, so there must always be someone to dominate.

Doing the work with intensity, and equal voraciousness, can help ensure the narcissist can begin to climb out of the patterns of behavior that keep cycling them through the self focused victim life perceptions that keep them bound. There is hope!

Bill Hoffman/ Canva Images/Choosing Therapy

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