In their book, "The Flight From Intimacy", Barry and Janae Weinhold expose the sibling of Codependency known as "Counterdependency" . What is it? Well... co-dependency indicates being "dependent" on the behaviors and connection, be it ever so dysfunctional, to another human being. "Counter" dependency is basically the opposite. It is the posturing that I don't... Continue Reading →
The Pretender – With Bill Hoffman
There is an old Jackson Browne song called, "The Pretender". I thought about it this morning while reading "All is Grace" again, by Brennan Manning. His interpretation is "the imposter", or false self. In any case it refers to the tragedy of living out of a disingenuous place in life, indicative of not knowing ones... Continue Reading →
What do You Think You Know? – With Bill Hoffman
Mark Twain left us an amazing quote: "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you "know for sure", that just ain't so." Our observation concerning temperament is always a lighthearted way to encapsulate this: "Melancholies think they know everything; but Cholerics know they know everything." Of course, the reality... Continue Reading →
Brain Drain – With Bill Hoffman
My friend Jesse Barnett wrote a book called "Soul Crushers". I featured him on one of our live broadcasts a while back. In his book he states; "What do you need to release to find freedom? ... You can learn to unpack your burdens one by one and find freedom." In similar fashion, brain drainers... Continue Reading →
Narcissist Twists – With Bill Hoffman
A Narcissist Twist. I have talked in previous posts about how temperament will affect how the narcissism is played out. For example, if the person is a Choleric they may be a "classic" narcissist", meaning the controlling, arrogant, knows everything, more "malignant" type of narcissist. The "ego-maniac with the inferiority complex." Then there might be... Continue Reading →
Enemies or Allies? – With Bill Hoffman
How do you view people generally speaking? If you are a Melancholy, (like me), you might always be suspicious of people, even if you know them well... are they really my friend and ally, or are they really my enemy, not really looking out for me? Check out this excerpt from the book of Galatians... Continue Reading →
Getting Ahead – With Bill Hoffman
Just about everybody wants to "get ahead" in life. Get ahead in terms of advancement in their careers or business; get ahead on terms of their finances; get ahead of their to-do lists, and on and on. Many times, getting ahead may be reduced to "keeping up with" in our world today. There is always... Continue Reading →
Collecting and Connecting the “Dots” – With Bill Hoffman
In a conversation the other day, someone said "we need to collect, and connect the dots." I had never heard it that way. I have always said we need to "connect" the dots in our lives, as in; my past, my temperament, my thoughts, etc. to help me take responsibility and understand why I do... Continue Reading →
Leadership and Relationship Development – With Bill Hoffman
"I increasingly see how difficult it is to exercise authority in community. Community of any kind. We are often so inclined to want authority for the honor, prestige or admiration that comes with it. Inside each of us is a little tyrant who wants power and associated recognition, who wants to dominate, be superior, and... Continue Reading →
Are You Credible? – With Bill Hoffman
CREDIBLE: Offering reasonable grounds for being believed. Are you credible according to this definition? And what makes us credible? It all boils down to "authenticity". I can "try" and "make myself" credible by putting on my best front, an "eminence front", as the old song by "The Who". describes: The sun shines And people forget... Continue Reading →